A place in my heart
by Chey21
Summary: Kendall thinks back to the day where he lost his dad. One shot for Semi Official One Shot Day 2013.


**Hi, first I want to say sorry for not updating 'Adoption' for so long. I've been busy and then I got a PM about the Semi Official One Shot Day 2013, so I wanted to help. So this story/one shot is for it :) It was 6 pages on Word ( longest for one 'chapter' yet :)) Sorry if it sucks...  
Disclaimer: I own BTR and the other tings in this story -.-", note the sarcasm**

~ Kendall's POV ~

I sat in front of the window, looking outside, in my thoughts. It was raining and storming outside, just like I felt right now. I felt sad, like crying. It was the day of the accident that happened years ago. The accident where my dad in died, where I should have died. They said it was a miracle that I survived. My mom is since that day a lot more protective over her loved ones. I'm protective over my loved ones now too, especially Katie. Katie doesn't remember him that much, she was three years old when he died. I was six years old back then, I'm sixteen now, so it's exactly ten years ago. Ten years… So much changed. Ten years without my dad. Ten years since I became the man of the house. Ten years and it still hurts, that he died. Ten years and a day ago my mom, sister and I would have never thought that the next day, dad would have died. Ten years and a day ago, I would have never thought I would be with him in the car that would change our lives. I still think that it's a nightmare and that I can wake up every moment. But it's not, it's all real.

I hear a door open, but I don't look, I just keep staring out of the window, the storming stopped but it's still raining. I miss my dad so much, he is the one who helped me learn to play hockey. We always did that on the weekends or after school. I feel a hand on my shoulders, I look up and see my mom. She gives me a sad smile. I smile back. She wipes the tears away, that I didn't even know were falling.  
"sweetie, it's late, come on let's get you to bed." my mom says.  
I just let her help me up and get me to bed. Once I'm in bed, she gives me a kiss on my forehead and smiles, then she walks towards the door, does the lights out and says;  
"Goodnight, Honey."  
She walks out and closes the door behind her.

I try to get to sleep, but after awhile, I find out I can't. I put the blanket off me and stand up. I walk to the window and sit so that my back is against the wall but still can look through the window. I look back to my nightstand and see a picture of my mom and dad with Katie and me in their arms. It's was taken when Katie was two and I five. Back then you could already see that I looked a lot like my dad and that Katie looked more like mom. The picture was on my dad's birthday, their friends and everyone of the family was here. I still remember it, everyone was so huge, I felt so little with all those people. I didn't even know half of those people. I still don't know half of the people.  
I just tried to stay close to my dad the whole time, which was pretty difficult.  
After my dad died we didn't talk with his family anymore, only his mom and dad, but not that much. Okay when he died, they where here the whole time, they talked every day with us, but after some time we talked less and less, now we only talk once a month and only once a year they come to visit.

I can feel the tears coming again, as I think back at those weeks after the accident. My mom needed to plan the funeral with his parents. Katie was with a babysitter, while I was still in the hospital, where I stayed a little more than a month. I was bored there, so I slept most of the time. My mom, Katie and my grandparents came every day to visit but only for an hour or two, because they needed to go back to the planning after that. Once I was out of the hospital, I still needed to rest a lot so I stayed in bed a lot at home too. Once the funeral came, I didn't have to rest anymore. But after the funeral I still stayed the whole days in bed because I was too sad, I hoped it was all just a nightmare. Now, ten years later, I know it can't be a nightmare anymore, but I can hope right?

I look back out of the window, it is still raining. As far as I can remember it always rains on this day since ten years ago. It is also one of the reasons the accident happened. I shake my head, I don't want to think about it right now. I pull my knees up and rest my head on them. I can still feel my tears falling. I hate that I'm so funeral on this day. I cry for a little while in my knees, after that I stand up and go stand in front of the window. I look outside and see the little streets of Minnesota. **( A/N I know Minnesota is not that small, but in my story it is )** Minnesota is a little town, everyone knows everyone, you can hardly hold a secret here without others knowing it. You can still hold secrets and without letting others know, but it is difficult.

I also know my friends all my whole live, trough I'm the closed with James and Carlos.** ( Logan isn't in Minnesota yet ) **We're best friends- brothers. They've helped me when my dad died. It was summer when he died, so they weren't there immediately because Carlos was with his family on vacation somewhere, he told me that his grandma was really weird, saying things like witches and other things, his parents told him that she isn't well in the head. James was here but had his own problems with his parents. They divorced that summer, so he was upset about that. But they were there as soon as they could and I'm thankful for that, otherwise I might still be upset about it the whole year now I'm only upset on his birthday and the day of the accident.

When my dad died, The Taylors organized a funeral/party thingy for the whole town, so we grieved with the whole town, I still hate it they said he was amazing, nice and such but most of those people didn't even talk with him. They just all acted like they care but I don't think most of them really cared. The Taylors are nice, their Daughter, Josephine or as we call her, Jo, is my best girl friend. They always organize the parties in Minnesota. That night of the accident we were on our way to one of their parties. The party was for the town, The town was on that day also so many years old. All the people in the town were invited, but of course most people were on vacation so Jo and I were going to be the only children there of our age, but before we even were at the party the accident happened. My mom and Katie Were at the party already, they had gone with some friends of my parents, because we left the rink late that night, so I needed to call for my dad to say that we were going to be late. She said she will call some friends, that could take them to the party already and that she will see us there. When dad and I got home we changed and got back in the car…

"_Do your seatbelt on, Ken." My dad said.  
"Of course, Daddy." Six-year old me said, as I did my seatbelt on.  
Once we both had our seatbelt on. My dad started driving. I turned the radio on. It was raining, but we didn't think much of it. We talked about everything, from hockey to the party. Good Time by Carly Rae Jepsen and Owl City came on and my dad turned it louder and started singing with it._

Woah-oh-oh-oh  
It's always a good time  
Woah-oh-oh-oh  
It's always a good time  
_  
_Woke up on the right side of the bed  
What's up with this Prince song inside my head?  
Hands up if you're down to get down tonight  
Cuz it's always a good time.

_I started smiling at my dad.  
_Slept in all my clothes like I didn't care  
Hopped into a cab, take me anywhere  
I'm in if you're down to get down tonight  
Cuz it's always a good time  
_  
I started singing the next verse, and my dad stopped singing to listen to me.  
_  
Good morning and good night  
I wake up at twilight  
It's gonna be alright  
We don't even have to try  
It's always a good time

_We were both singing now._

Woah-oh-oh-oh Woah-oh-oh-oh  
It's always a good time  
Woah-oh-oh-oh Woah-oh-oh-oh  
We don't even have to try, it's always a good time.

_My dad sung this part._

Freaked out, dropped my phone in the pool again  
Checked out of my room hit the ATM  
Let's hang out if you're down to get down tonight  
Cuz it's always a good time

_Then I sung again._

Good morning and good night  
I wake up at twilight  
It's gonna be alright we don't even have to try  
It's always a good time.

_My dad started singing again with me.  
_  
Woah-oh-oh-oh Woah-oh-oh-oh  
It's always a good time  
Woah-oh-oh-oh Woah-oh-oh-oh  
We don't even have to try, it's always a good time.

Woah-oh-oh-oh Woah-oh-oh-oh  
It's always a good time  
Woah-oh-oh-oh Woah-oh-oh-oh  
We don't even have to try, it's always a good time.  
_Now we started taking turns.  
_  
Doesn't matter when  
It's always a good time then  
Doesn't matter where  
It's always a good time there

Doesn't matter when,  
It's always a good time then

_We both sung again._

It's always a good time  
Woah-oh-oh-oh Woah-oh-oh-oh  
It's always a good time  
Woah-oh-oh-oh Woah-oh-oh-oh  
We don't even have to try, it's always a good time

Woah-oh-oh-oh Woah-oh-oh-oh  
It's always a good time  
Woah-oh-oh-oh Woah-oh-oh-oh  
We don't even have to try, it's always a good time.

_ In the end we were both laughing our heads off.  
After the song ended that radio guy started talking. We came to the bridge when it was raining super hard, so hard I could hardly see. My dad started driving slower. I saw a light before me coming towards us, the light began to grow bigger and bigger. When the driver of the car almost past us, their car slipped. Everything happened so fast, our car spun around and rolled over the head a few times. I heard screams, cries and the tires of the car. Suddenly I fell and I immediately knew the seatbelt broke. Everything started to get blurry. Then it all stopped, the screams cries, the turning and rolling, our car stopped at the edge off the bridge. The car was upside down, the glass was broken and there was blood everywhere. I looked to my dad, he was still in the car seat, his seatbelt didn't broke, and saw he was still conscious, he was looking at me. I saw his mouth moving, but I didn't hear anything. I started feeling lightheaded, my sight began to get even blurrier, if that can. That's when I blacked out…_

_X_

"_Kendall, sweetie, wake up…" I heard my mom say, I tried to do as she told, but I couldn't open my eyes. I heard a door open and started to listen.  
"Mrs. Knight." I heard someone say, I didn't recognize the voice.  
" Yes, How is he?"  
"You husband, Mr. Knight, died in surgery, we're sorry." I heard my mom starting to cry, I wanted to cry too but I couldn't.  
After a while I heard my mom saying;  
"H-h… how did he d-die?"  
"In surgery, we saw that one of his ribs pierced his lung and he had trouble breathing. We came too late for him."  
then the doctor said;  
"would you like to know what happened and how your son is?"  
I knew my mom didn't say anything because she needed to let it sink in.  
"As far as we know, a car bumped into them, because the other car slipped, The car spun and rolled and stopped upside down. Your husband, Mr. Knight, sat- or hung in his seatbelt. But your son, Kendall, had bad luck. The glass broke and it cut his seatbelt he fell down when the car was still rolling and turning. It is a miracle he's still with us, right now."  
He paused, to let it sink in for my mom.  
After he thought, she let it sink in, he wanted to go on, but my mom said something before he got the chance;  
"What does he have?"  
"He has a few broken ribs and the glass cut him. Some cuts are small but some are pretty big we got them to stop bleeding but they did need some stitches. The stitches can go out soon trough. When his seatbelt broke and he fell, he hit his head pretty hard. He got some internal bleeding from it, but we got there on time and got it to stop. It shouldn't have damaged him."  
"Ohhh, my pour baby.."  
I tried to open my eyes again, and this time it worked, but as soon as I opened them, I closed them again. I opened them again and they got used to the light. I looked around, but everything was still a bit blurry. It looked like I was in the hospital, everything was white. I looked at the window and saw it was dark outside, probably still night. Then I looked at the two people that were still talking. I saw a men in a doctor coat, he had brown hair and blue eyes. He was talking with my mom. I looked at her and saw she had red puffy eyes and was still crying.  
"m-mommy…."I said, but it came out more like a whisper.  
She looked at me and when she saw I was awake she run to me to hug me, which hurt but I didn't want to say that, I was just happy to see my mom.  
" Mrs. Knight, I think you can better stop, I think that that hurts Kendall, because of his broken ribs.." The doctor said. My mom stopped hugging me, and looked at me and said;  
"ohh, sweetie, Are you alright?"  
"Yes, mommy" I smiled to let her think I was alright, but in reality was broken, not only physically but also emotional. My dad died, why wouldn't I be sad, but they didn't know I heard them.  
"how's daddy?" I asked, I knew he died but maybe I heard them wrong, and they were talking about someone different in the accident.  
"H-he is d-dead, honey. H-he d-died in the ac-accident." my mom was crying again. I let the tears fall to, now it seemed so real. 'I never want to let people feel like this' I thought, which immediately let me think about the other persons in the car accident.  
"How are the people, that were in the other car?" I asked.  
"they died too. You were the only one that survived the crash." The doctor said.  
I tried to stay strong , but in the evening, when everyone was out of my room, I let the tears fall and started sobbing. I cried myself to sleep, not only that night, but the next few months…  
_  
I wipe away my tears, but it doesn't help, the tears are still falling down. I walk to my bed and climb in. I turn in my bed, so I look out of the window. It is raining so hard right now, like it was on this night ten years ago.  
"I'll miss you, dad…"I whisper, "You'll always have a special place in my heart."  
I close my eyes and try to get to sleep.

**Like? Hate? Middle?**

**If you like it then tell me, if I should make a squel to it ( wich will be more chapters + all the boys will be in their ) and if I do what do you want to see, I have an idea of what I could do, but I dont know if its any good and im not sure about it either. Also if i make a squel i will write it after i finish Adoption ( i say that now but maybe it will come sooner )**

xoxo Chey21


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